Gluten Free

I can't remember when I didn't have celiac disease, twenty-two months is very young. I've been so angry about this thing I've no control over and can't do anything about. I should have accepted this part of myself long ago, it's not really that much of problem in my everyday life anymore. I'm old enough to cook for myself. I have to get ready to move out in August and feed myself or help a college cafeteria feed me. So, I'm finally getting okay with disease. It's still a fight for me because the idea of that my body can just destroy itself so easily bothers a lot, but I'll just have to accept that part to.

Anyway, this is the best GF blog ever. Really. It's wonderful and helpful even to an old hand at this. And to Ms. Ahern, Thanks a million and I'll be buying your book as soon as I've got Christmas money.

College is much work...

and I'm not even there yet! These essays are killing me. I've never done anything significant or really been challenged. I'm only seventeen! What am I supposed to have done? I've done all my school work, earned a damn good GPA and have wonderful test scores. Again, what is it I'm supposed to have done? I'm not supergirl. I haven't been to third world country, saved a life, started an organization, or done fought a life threatening disease (well technically I have but I was diagnosed before I was two, so I don't think that counts). I'm somewhat above average school wise, but outside of that I'm feeling somewhat inadequate. What've I done that's important? Why should I've done something super important? I'M SEVENTEEN! What happened to being a care-free kid or a terrible teenager? At least I'm not worry about my friends and brother being drafted or sent to prison; I really do have a lot to be thankful for but all this college shit is making it particularly hard to be grateful this time of year when I should be most thankful. I've got a (moderately) healthy family, I'm well provided for, (mostly) happy, and will go to college even if it is just the wonderful Oklahoma University. So, I guess I should be content and stop stressing out about this and just chill and be thankful.

My Obsession: The College Essay

As a senior in high school, I've had to become obsessed with the "college essay" as the part BS part sap essays those of us hoping to go to private schools have to write. Here's the one I wrote for the ever wonderful Common Application. More to come.

Blame The West Wing When I Take Over the World

As a middle-schooler, my deepest desire was someday to be President of the United States. This is not the most traditional career goal for a slight thirteen-year-old girl, but neither was I the most traditional child. I had grown up with my mother reading James Herriot -or some other author most parents would assume above our comprehension level- to my brother and me every night, and I had struggled with the obstacles of food allergies and the pressure of a private school where I didn't really fit in. But I could always find solace at eight o'clock central time, Wednesday nights, on NBC, in what was (and is) my favorite television program: The West Wing. The example of Josiah “Jed” Bartlet and his senior staff never ceased to impress me. They instilled in me a desire for a greatness like that shown by the characters I watched so raptly once a week during some of the most tumultuous years of my life. Their example guided me through the awkward transitions of adolescence and continue to guide me -whenever the DVDs are in at the local Blockbuster- to this day.

My personal struggles in growing up mirrored at first the struggle of the fledgling Bartlet administration in the first season of the show. The saying that defined that season and got me hooked on The West Wing was, “Let Bartlet be Bartlet.” Learning to trust myself has been the biggest battle of high school experience. Coming out of a trying middle school experience, I was acutely unsure of myself and my beliefs. My Wednesday nights in front of the television helped me learn that what others may or may not think of me doesn't matter. Those evenings taught me that whatever is happening, I should trust myself to do what I can do well. Learning to trust others came later but was just as essential as learning to trust myself; until I learned to trust those around me I was socially and emotionally uncomfortable and unable to adjust to the changes that were happening to and around me. This attitude of trusting those around me to do what they do best, and trusting myself to do what I do best, has been one around which I've tried to build my fledgling adulthood. At first this was an idea, over time I've had to live to up to it to succeed. After two years of trying and doing rather badly, as a debater, I finally decided to trust myself to do well and I finally did. At school and outside, the example of the characters on The West Wing were an inspiration. They were role models, friends, teachers, and sometimes examples of what not to do. They handled themselves with the honesty and -sometimes- the grace I still believe all leaders should have. They were idealized, but they are the ideal for which I aim. Whenever I lose hope for our human race -or the new fall television schedule-, I look to The West Wing for reassurance, because whatever happens, Josh, Donna, C.J., Toby, Sam, Leo, Margret, and President Bartlet will always await me at my local Blockbuster or on my movie shelf to show me what leaders -and people- should really be like.

I still want to be a part of the political process. The message of The West Wing was that with a little luck and a lot of talent, a person from any background, gender, or age can make a difference for the better. Anyone can fight injustice and ignorance while being true to her convictions. The show depicted people who said, “This is what I believe and what I am willing to do.” They weren't perfect, but they were honorable, and they tried, and that was enough. That is what inspires me most and what caused me, as a shy middle schooler, to desire the role of the President of the United States.

This is awesome.

Check these guys out. They're awesome.

http://www.billboardliberation.com/

High School

Too much to do! Also, I am not a fan of physics or calculus or applying to college or academic all state. Gross. In other news, I think I may want to be a lawyer.

Ramblin's on the SCOTUS and Humanity

The power of the Supreme Court scares me, in part due to the chance of erratic rulings. I know precedent is all about avoiding that but, especially in cases like the Tinker one where the Court quasi-reversed itself twenty years later, it happens and it's confusing. Which is the precedent today? Tinker or the less well known Hazlewood case? I agree with Justice Fortas in the first and Justice Brennan in the second but that's the difference between the majority and dissent. The difference was the people. When the make up of such a powerful body can change so many times in a lifetime, it creates confusion and fear. Not that I'm against the Court changing when necessary, I wouldn't have so much respect for the founders if that wasn't a built it quaility of all our branches of government, it just concerns me. The purpose of the Court, it seems to me, is to curb the power of the other branchs but wether or not that happens is up to who's on the Court (that's why this whole Roberts, Alito thing freaks me out). The biggest questions of a generation come before the Court- indefinite detention, freedom of speech, torture, gun rights, censorship, I could go on and on- and the Court decides. Nine people, nine votes, one decision that could affect (or is it effect?) laws and lives all over the country. That's mind boggling becasue, however outrageous it sounds, it's worked pretty well. How did whoever (John Marshall? John Adams? The Founders? George Washignton? I should know this.) come up with this plan? It amazes me the awesome things people come up with. I'm not humanity's biggest fan, but damn. It's so amazing that we, mere humans, were able to come up with things like the American system of government or the hadron collider or mentalfloss (Watch me shamelessly plug my favorite magazine in the hopes they will send me free things!).

Anyway, I'm all rambled out. Time for more of the Consitutional Law homework that prompted this ill planned rant in the first place.

So now I've got this blog...

and I'm not sure what to do with it. If anyone reads this (something I think unlikely) be ready for rambling and ranting on pop culture, the college application process, and politics. Maybe some debate stuff, maybe not. Be ready for anything! I'm gonna try to post everyday, make it habit to chronicle what's going on with me and this whole college/senior year/life thing. It fascinates me how blogs seem to have replaced journals and such, like TV replaced books only kinda different in that the later is much, much sadder. TV's great an' all but books are so much better, on the whole. I love books. I don't understand how everybody doesn't love books/reading as much as I do. I wouldn't be the person I am without books and by that I mean I would like myself much less (or maybe I'd be so different it wouldn't matter and I'd just be completely unrecognizable, but that's the road to mental breakdown).

See what I mean about the ranting? I'm done now.